Time to Play

One of the more negative things I've felt about the Thai schooling system, is that there is not enough focus on sports. Its really academic: focus on languages, maths, and science. There's only one "physical education" class a week at Jonty's school - in my book this is not enough for a very active and physcial Grade 1 boy.

As a result, we have really encouraged Jonty to focus on his taekwondo as good exercise, an outlet, a release, a good way of learning self-control, discipline, and - of course - techiniques for defending his sisters in, say, 10 years time! I also try to get him outside, in play areas, or to the pool, as often as I can.

Well, cool season has officially started. Early mornings are pretty chilly - so chilly that we need to wear jumpers (or at least long-sleeved T-shirts) and socks to keep warm; and when I take the girls to kindergarten at 08h30 its only about 21 degrees C.

Cool season has not only brought out the winter woolies, its also brought out a new dimension in school life: SPORTS. Every day the kids now do sports from after lunch till 15h30 when school ends.

The downside of this is that its wreaking havoc with Jonty's homeschooling sessions, but I am delighted to see that Jonty is, for the first time since starting school, being introduced to football, badmington, volley-ball, athletics and other competitive sports. Even Emily comes home from school asking me to please feed them more veggies as she needs to get strong so she can win all her races.

Yet again, a reminder to self: things here are not worse, they're just different. In fact, its smart. Its usually way too hot to be doing strenuous sport outdoors, but now that the season allows for it, the school system is making hay while the sun shines.

Or should I say, playing sports, while the sun doesn't shine quite so brightly!

No place to hide

I collected Jonty's report card today. He did well, what a genius! Right up there in the top the class, not the very top, but close enough. How do I know where he came? Its simple - on the report card they indicate where he came in the class.

I thought that I could keep this information from him - the boy doesn't really need to know - until I walked out the classroom. Stuck up on the door of the class is, get this, a copy of the students' results ordered from highest to lowest. When Jonty arrives at school tomorrow, that will be the first thing he sees. So now I have a few hours to prepare him for the fact that (1) he's not number 1, and - more importantly - (2) how to deal with the fact that the results are posted there for all and sundry to read.

I am relieved that my son is up near the top, but I just feel terrible, awful, horrible for those kids at the bottom. And in a society where "face" is everything, I wonder how a kid recovers from being rock bottom...

And remember, they're only six or seven years old.

Over breakfast tomorrow morning, before he heads off to school, I'll be working on trying to help Jonty understand how those kids at the bottom feel and try to encourage a bit of empathy and compassion for them in his heart.

BTW, guess what Jonty's highest mark was for? No, not English, that was second highest. It was Maths. Must have an awesome Maths & English teacher. Ha ha.

Emily and I were up bright and early at 05h45, off to the Beauty Parlour. It was Emily’s big day – leading her school’s parade in town, and the head teacher had insisted that Emily’s hair, clothing, make-up, etc be done by professionals. She’d seen my attempts at a previous event and decided to take drastic action!

We arrived at the beauty parlour – and I felt as if I’d walked into a movie or something, so unreal was the experience. Five transvestites, or “ladyboys” , in various stages of undress, were prancing around getting a group of (teenage) girls ready for the same parade. There was giggling, and gushing, and dancing, and …

I sat quietly in a corner trying to be as unobtrusive as possible. This is NOT a world I am used to, not a place I am comfortable being in.

The head teacher thought these transvestites were quite adorable, and oh so well-mannered. They referred to themselves as “dichan” and ended their sentences with “jiaw” which is lovely and polite.

I was not happy, I admit, at the amount of attention these women/men were lavishing Emily. I don’t think they had anything other than good intentions, but I was still uncomfortable. Fortunately there were a lot of girls to be made-up, so we were out of there in less than 45 minutes.

We raced across town to the parade. All the schools put something up front that distinguished their school – one school has a swimming pool (the only one in town with one) so they had a few kids kitted out with goggles and swim-suits. Another school has a focus on the environment this year – their parade leader wore a magnificent ballgown made from plastic bags. Awesome.

But a couple of schools had their transvestites out front, leading their schools parade. “Transvestites” is not quite the right word for these people. The Thai term for them is “kathoey” which is defined as “an effeminate gay male” or “a male to female transgender person”. Many Thai surgeons specialize in male-to-female sex reassignment surgery.

Kathoeys are often very beautiful – elegant and graceful, with smooth skin. Some believe this may be part of the reason they are so open. They are very much accepted in Thai society.

It struck me that Thai children grow up encountering kathoeys as a normal part of their daily lives – they work in schools, at the beauty parlour, at Big C (and, yes, thousands are in the sex industry), they lead their schools’ parades. Basically, it’s the norm and its acceptable. TV programmes feature them – not to be laughed at but as a matter of course.

I realize it’s a very complex issue, and I cannot do it much justice in this short article, and I sincerely hope that this does not come across as critical or judgmental. Nevertheless I have to say that my heart ached for these young boy/girls in the parade last Saturday. AND for all the children watching them and thinking it was normal, beautiful, lovely, acceptable to have kathoeys leading their school parade.

Emily asked me all about the kathoeys at the beauty parlour. She knew something was not quite right, but couldn’t understand what it was. I tried to explain, as best I could, to an innocent 5-year old. And in the end, Emily said “I know what they are Mom, they are Phuu Mai Ruu” which translated means “people who don’t know”. Indeed, they don’t. They don’t know who they are, they don’t know the God who created them, they don’t know the Truth.

Please pray for the children of Thailand!

A tip: tired moms are not good teachers

Okay, so here's the thing. Home schooling does not work if you (as the mom and homeschool teacher) are not well organised, well prepared, and don't have a good routine. But even if you are all these things, but are tired, it can be a disaster.

We've had a bit of a hiatus with our annual conference and then the cousins' visit. Now I find I am struggling to get back into the swing of things. Jonty has been out of the routine for 3 weeks, and not used to doing it anymore, and we have to relearn all our good habits. That's what last week was about.

By Friday last week (a week of trying to settle back into old routines and rhythms) I was fairly organised, had done the lesson prep, etc, and Jonty was ready for the lesson, but even as we started, I realised I was way too tired to do it. The words were swimming around the page, and I could feel my patience was, well, kind of lowish. So I averted disaster and cancelled the lesson and put Jonty and myself to bed.

This week's focus will be on getting the groove back, and ... getting more sleep!

A day off - or not?

Big dilemma: Cousins and aunty going off to do Flight of the Gibbons today. They wanted Jonty to go with them. Jonty would have loved to have gone and I would have loved for him to have gone, but I was not feeling 100% happy about it - (1) another day off school and (2) not doing it with him.

After much deliberation, Nick and I decided that we would not let him go. When I told him this morning he was, like, okay, fine, what's for breakfast? I asked him if he wasn't upset...??? Surely he would be! But no, he really was fine and even admitted that he was feeling quite anxious about going "alone" (i.e. without mom and dad).

So today he went off to school while his favourite cousins went to Chiang Mai, and he went without whining and complaining.

Again I tell myself: School can't be THAT bad! Something good must be going on there.

Catching a Wobbly

Today Jonty's homework involved selecting 2 plants in the garden and then comparing them in terms of roots, stems, leaves, flowers, and fruit, using his magnifying glass to examine them closely. He had to write brief descriptions under each heading.

Easy? Well, ye-es, but ... it's all in Thai.

When he opened up his book to show me the chart he had to fill out I caught a wobbly. The thing is that I know NOTHING about botanical terminology in Thai. I know the basic words like "fruit", "roots", "flower", etc, and know enough to read the instructions, which is why I could actually work out what he needed to do, but how to describe all these things using the right terminology...?

How was I going to help my son with his homework?

I mean what IS a "hardy perennial" in Thai? What is a "compound" leaf, a "simple" one? How do they describe an "ovate" leaf? Glossy? Waxy? And types of bark: ring bark, corky, smooth bark, peeling bark? Do they even have all these words?

I don't know if I can do this. I can help him in English, but can I help him in Thai? I felt ever so slightly incompetent and inadequate. But while I was having a quiet little panic attack, and googling translations of "angiosperms", Jonty was calmly completing his homework:

Plant 1 (he'd chose a jasmine bush):
ROOTS: small
FLOWER: small, white
FRUIT: none
LEAVES: small, green
STEM: not strong

Plant 2 (coconut tree - magnifying glass of great benefit when looking for coconut trees, please note!)
ROOTS: long
FLOWER: long
FRUIT: coconut
LEAVES: big
STEM: strong, straight, long

CONCLUSION: Plants are not all the same.

(All of this written in perfect Thai of course)

Okay then. I can handle Grade 1, even if it is all in Thai because my Thai is at least this level - I actually knew all those words! And I'll just have to learn along with him. Or he can teach me.

P.S. Google Translate rendered พืชชั้นสูง for Angiosperms.

I don't want to go to school...

I hate school. I have no friends. School's boring. I don't want to go to school today....

Heard this before?

So have I.

And so have mothers living in every country in the world. But somehow when you're living cross-culturally and sending your children to a school that - in the back of your mind - you ARE wondering about, this can become a crisis.

Jonty was a bit negative going off to school this morning. He thought it might be better if he perhaps stayed at home - he had a stye in his eye, and thought he might be feverish, and besides, he loves being with me SO much.

Later when I discussed it with my sister she said some days she has exactly the same thing with her little girl, and her daughter loves school, has plenty of friends, and attends a brilliant school.

So: reminder to self:

All over the world there are perfectly happy and well-adjusted children teling their moms that they don't want to go to school today. And its okay. Wel, unless we are looking for reasons to keep our kids out of school, or justification for giving up on Thai schooling...

'I don't want to go to school' means the kids are just having a bad day...tomorrow will be better!